FOR WOMEN
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A Life Of Love And Balance Blog

For Women

Woman have been indoctrinated to believe they are responsible for the lives and behavior of others. If a child has problems in school, it’s because they have not been a good enough mother. If her husband seeks other women, she hasn’t been a good enough wife. If she has issues at work she isn’t a good enough employee. If she isn’t active in PTA, Church, Community activities she isn’t---- ENOUGH! These outdated beliefs are driving women every into overwhelm and burn out. Women are part of the problem, too, because they continue to struggle to live up to these unrealistic cultural expectations. However, the good news is you are part of your solution. Taking responsibility for someone else’s behavior is denying them the experience of accountability. It also becomes a distraction to you taking responsibility for yourself. In order to find your solutions, you need to reconnect to your intuitive intelligence and disconnect from your human doing. It is time to find your loving, nurturing, and creative self, to balance your overwhelmed one. It is time to find a place beyond survival and hoping for permission you have done enough so you are good enough. To do this you need an inner shift to create an outer one. When you pause with me you will create a foundation of self-care so when you do other-care you will include you so you won’t burn out.
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iStock 000019026722 Resized 300x224Monica sounded frantic. “I yelled at him! I yelled at him! He went running to his room saying he hates me. What have I done? I’ve ruined everything!”

When I hear these words I know that we have come to the difficult struggle to maintain progress.

“Monica, have you forgotten that we talked about this. One day you would probably slip and go back to old behaviors. What happened?”

I heard her breathing slow down. Then a sigh. “Yes I did. But the look on his face made my heart hurt for what I had done.”

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Deborah Chelette Wilson life coach family counselor Sxchg 1015347 185x300Last month I introduced you to Monica, a single mom who was tired of feeling bad about yelling at her son. She had done a great deal of work

getting information and contemplating making changes, but her efforts had failed miserably. Monica learned that she had jumped into taking action before she was really ready to do so.

 

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Deborah Chelette Wilson life coach family counselor Sxchg 3264 296x300"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to blossom." - Anais Nin

Monica is in her early thirties. Her seven-year marriage had ended the day she wanted to surprise her husband, John, for lunch. She went to his office, and walked in on him and another woman.

Her dream of being a stay-at-home wife and mother ended that day. 

 

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OkaDeborah Chelette Wilson life coach family counselor Sxchg 92296 300x218y what behavior have you chosen to work through the change cycle?  Or did you?

Did it not get on your "To Do List"?  Did you talk yourself out of any need for change? 

After all its not really you that needs to change is it?  It’s your husband, your children, your mother-in-law, your boss, etc., right?

 

 

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