Self Esteem
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Self Esteem

Expert Author Deborah Chelette-Wilson

Sitting in my car listening to the radio all seems well with my world. Then without warning deep sadness fills my body. I tell myself to breath through it. I tell myself I don't have to know why it's there or what is causing it. I just need to breath. As I do I see a couple I know in there yard. I stop my impulse to honk. I'm thinking I still don't think I know how to have a relationship.




Expert Author Deborah Chelette-Wilson

About 6 years ago at a therapist boot camp presented by a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, by the name of Bryan Post I was introduced to his stress model. It was a synthesis of information from family systems, neuroscience, trauma and attachment theory. It states that all behavior arises from a state of stress. That in between the stress and the behavior is the presence of two primary emotions: Love and fear. It is through an understanding and expression of our fear that we can calm the stress, diminish the behavior and return to love. The camp focused on using this model to look at how our fears as therapist affected our ability to connect with our clients and create a loving, healing environment. I have found it to be a model that works with any relationship. It transformed my work as a therapist but more importantly it has and is transforming how I look and feel about myself.

Expert Author Deborah Chelette-Wilson

In the 21st century we continue to use outdated information about what it is to be a human being. We continue to identify emotions as positive or negative. In doing so we fight to stay positive even in dire situations and always look for the silver lining. We fight to fend off negative emotions as though they are a virus that might infect us. Both fights keeps us from connecting with our authenticity and self-honesty with dire consequences. Two of these consequences are increased episodes of depression and a decrease in conscious living.